Finite

Please understand this: Aku bukannya ‘mendiamkan’ kamu. Masalahnya lebih rumit – atau justru lebih simple – dari itu.

To be honest, I think we’re through, even as friends. Why? Because I’ve come to this very point where I can’t even remember why we were together for so long. Every single memory of the time we shared can’t even bring out the slightest emotion from me; and that supposed to mean something.

That, and also the fact that I failed to know you. You’ve either changed or revealed the hidden side of your personality; I simply don’t know and up to this point I really don’t want to know. I don’t give myself credit on doing that very mistake ever again.

I admit that I was overreacted to whatever happened; that was the time when I was not in my best condition. But now my mind is so clear that I know that this decision is not based on ego or emotion. I should have respected your decision to do whatever you want, but once again, I guess I failed.

So now, it really doesn’t matter anymore why the problem emerged or who started it. You don’t need to apologize and nor am I need to do so.

I’m living my own life now and I want you to live your own life. You don’t need me to survive, and both of us know exactly the truth of it. Besides, the girl you once know in me has died – I bet you have probably heard it from Yudith. Don’t wait for her; she’s not coming back.

I just hope that right from this moment on you can learn to appreciate whatever or whoever around you much better. We have hurt each other so bad, and I guess it’s time for each of us to make up with anyone else but ourselves. Although (now) I understand why you did ‘it’ back then, I still think that you didn’t respect me that much for doing that. So now, please show me a little appreciation by accepting my decision well. I won’t ask for anything from you anymore from now on, and none of us owe any apology from each other.

This will be my last communication with you. Please don’t try to reach me in any way for I won’t reply or response to anything.

Thank you so much for everything – every single time, memory, and lesson I’ve learnt.

I’m moving on.

Note: This is my last post in this blog. This blog is officially closed. Thanx for visiting it.

Hah…

Heran ya…

Orang ngomongin siapa, eh… siapa juga yang malah jadi tersinggung. Ga sah GR banget, lah. Besides, I’m just so glad that it’s over.

Satisfied????

May Reading

First card: Where I am at the present

My first card was the 5 of Pentacles (Earth). Pentacles represent the material and financial aspects of our lives; possessions, wealth and security and the number five symbolizes challenges, strife, loss, insecurity and opportunity for change. The card depicts two destitute people; one male one female in front of a stained glass window. I regret to say this card suggests that someone is going to get hurt in this relationship. The man turns away from the woman who is sitting down in the snow, hidden under a blanket, with her very little of her head visible. Depending on who the woman is, this card suggests that he will turn his back on one of you. Stained glass is very fragile. So it would appear is this relationship.

Second card: The challenge or obstacle I am facing

My second card was the 6 of Wands (Fire). Wands are associated with the element of Fire and are the suit of risk, energy and action and the number six represents communication and problem solving. The card depicts a man on a white horse riding through cheering crowds. The image immediately brings to mind the idea of being whisked off by a knight in shining armour. Is this what you are hoping for; that you will be victorious in winning your man? Your man is enjoying attention from all quarters. I am drawn to the face of a child poking through the crowd. I feel that it is a child or children which will be the obstacle to this relationship leading anywhere.

Third card: The solution/outcome

My third and last card was The Hanged Man (Water). The card depicts a young man hanging upside down from a tree with his legs crossed in the shape of a triangle. There are no ropes or ties holding him on the tree. He hangs there voluntarily. He looks uncomfortable, implying that although you are uncomfortable at continuing with this triangle you will hang on to it for as long as you can. This card always suggests relinquishing something in order to gain something better. Unfortunately I feel that this man will keep you hanging around for as long as you let him.

Summary

Someone always gets hurt in this situation. There was no Air cards drawn suggesting that if you inject some logic, into the situation you could prevent that person being you. Family ties will prevent this man from pursuing this relationship further. There is only one Major Arcana card present, but it is the outcome card suggesting this experience will have a profound and lasting effect on your love life in the future. It may prevent you from ever repeating the experience.

My Comment: I really do hope so. Thanx AirdrieLady for reading my cards.

Justification?

Okay.

Justify yourself, people. I mean, YOURSELF. Don’t bother justifying somebody else.

People put a great deal to somebody’s business. Way too much attention to what happen to somebody else’s lives. This is exactly why infotainment business gains more and more profit.

And then, compare to your own business. Do you put as much care as the one you give to other’s business? Hell no, right? “Well, it’s my life. I’m free to do whatever to my life. I can mind my problems, or I can choose not to. My decision, right?”

Right, hell right. Absolutely right. I agree. But the same case can also be applied to somebody’s business. “Well, it’s their lives. They’re free to do whatever to their lives. They can mind their problems, or they can choose not to. Their decision, right?” Plus, what RIGHTS do you got to interfere with their problems???? (Read that, digest that, you ASSHOLES reading my blog with no other objective than to mock or jeer or find something to talk about for months!!!)

Generally speaking, I don’t say it’s wrong to interfere with other’s business. I’ll say, it’s simply INAPPROPRIATE. Please notice that I DON’T think it’s right at all.

Besides, in this stupid life we live in, what can be so WRONG and what can be so RIGHT? NOTHING, DAMMIT!!! No filters are appropriate in justifying whether something is wrong or right. Not even morals. (Anyways, what is ‘moral’ anyway? For those who know the real-life definition of ‘moral’, please leave a comment right away.)

Examples? Okay, here goes. Promiscuous behavior; wrong or right? Most people will say WRONG. Why? Their morals say so? No! But it simply because they don’t do that. If they do that, most probably they will say ABSTAIN or keep quiet bout this issue.

Next example. Drugs; wrong or right? (Eliminate the whole bad effects to the health; try to see drugs as ‘a way of life’) WRONG. Why? Just because your great-great-great-grandfathers don’t know drugs and don’t use them, it doesn’t mean that drugs is strongly not recommended. Besides, I know someone who’s addicted to a certain brand of influenza pills. See, it’s another example of addiction. You don’t need drugs to get addicted. Does it make the person addicted to inluenza pills as ‘guilty’ as drugs users? Society will definitely say NO.

Justify yourself, people. Don’t use that ‘HOLIER THAN THOU’ look on me. What makes YOU a much better person than I do? Remember than this is the world of relativity, where everything is totally SUBJECTIVE. We haven’t got any standard in justifying others, so don’t PLAY GOD with others, especially with ME.

Besides, what makes a raper a much better person than a killer? Or what makes a hoax a much better person than a shoplifter or a pickpocket? Or what makes a drugs user holier than a blackmailer? If you happen to know the answers, once again, please leave a comment right away.

Okay, I’ve gone too far perhaps. So, what’s the conclusion of this good-for-nothing writing? It’s MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

(Images taken from http://trekkingtorah.wordpress.com and http://msnbcmedia3.msn.com)